10 Things You Need To Stop Doing… Now
After some soul searching and self reflection this past week,
I decided we needed to have a little chat.
I wanted to talk about some very important things that you may be doing
that could be self-sabotaging actions or
things you may do that you don’t realize could put a damper on your happiness.
Here is our list of things you need to stop doing… NOW!:
- Don’t Knock Others Hustle: When I was reading Girl Code a while back, she made a point about women empowering other women. Cara stated “You know a woman is strong, beautiful, and secure by the way she empowers and inspires others.” This rang so true for me. Just because you give a compliment or encourage someone else’s success does not mean your future will be any less bright. Before I read this book I was all about supporting my fellow GirlBosses and peers but after I read the book, that note rang a little louder for me. I love seeing my friends, family and loved ones succeed and me cheering them on will not hurt my success by any means so don’t be afraid to spread the love.
- Stop Negative Thinking: As I said earlier, I have been on a little soul searching journey lately. One of my good friends, Danielle, is a medium and I am so grateful that ours paths crossed when they did. She is actually Steven’s cousin’s wife but we recently have been getting closer. Between Danielle and a few other very positive friends, I really started to opened up my mind to positive thinking. Danielle said if you think negative then negative will happen and if you think positive then positive will happen. It’s so simple yet it can be difficult at times. I have always been pretty a optimistic person, but after taking a moment, I realized I could be a lot more positive than I already was. The mind is extremely powerful and ever since I started changing words like “maybe”, “cant” and “never” to “I can” and “I will” things have been looking up. She also spoke to me about the importance of manifesting what you want. If you believe something will happen, it will. Also, if you are looking for a deep and healthy read, pick up The Power of Now.
- No More Netflix + Chill: I have been SO guilty of this in the past but here is why I say no more. I still do Netflix but I no longer chill. If I want to watch a show, I have to watch it on the treadmill or elliptical. That little tweak of me having to move and exercise to watch a show makes it a lot harder to just relax all day on the couch. Same thing with Social Media like Pinterest. I am guilty of spending time scrolling, pinning and reading so if I want to catch a couple of articles, I do it on the elliptical. So for physical health purposes I say… get off that dang couch!
- Stop Emotional Spending: Do you really need that adorable makeup bag from TJ Maxx? I didn’t think so. I’ve also been guilty of this too but now that I am in the process of looking for a house, money has been a bit tighter than I would like it to be. A few tips to saving where you normally may be spending: 1) Set up an automatic transfer to an account you have limited access to. That way its gone before you can even touch it and into an account that you need to go out of your way to get to if you reallllly need it. For example, I have one account that I can only access from an ATM and it is hidden on my online account. 2) Give yourself a limit. Every paycheck I treat myself to $20 of whatever I want. It’s usually makeup but I give myself $20 bucks for myself. I work hard and I deserve it. Then the rest of my paycheck gets sorted into different accounts like a car savings and my above secret savings. Some gets put aside for groceries and gas and if I have an event coming up like a wedding or bachelorette I put a little aside each week until I have what I need.
- Don’t Beat Yourself Up: You wouldn’t go up to a friend and tell them their thighs are too big or they aren’t good enough or their hair is a mess would you? So why do you think it is okay to talk to yourself that way? Stop negative self-talk immediately. Instead start your day with at least one compliment for yourself.
- Don’t Forget to Celebrate: Whether the success is big or small, don’t forget to celebrate. You work hard! I’m not talking an all night wine fest but maybe dress up and go out for a movie or get your nails done. Be proud of what you have accomplished. Little wins lead to bigger wins.
- Stop Trying to Please Everyone: If you are a “Yes” person like I was, then I get it. I know it’s hard but it can be done. Whenever I want to say YES to everything, I tell myself that I have to put myself first. In the past, I would constantly spread myself too thin trying to please everyone and at the end of the day I wasn’t happy [and I was broke]. More than half the time the love wasn’t even returned – not that I do things to get something in return – but I put a lot of love and energy into my relationships and the respect and appreciation just wasn’t there. So, now I look at the bigger picture. If I can make it all work then I will say Yes and if I can’t then I learned it’s okay to say no.
- Stop Dwelling on the Past: Someone once said to me “the past is the past and you can’t change it so stop looking back”. It was like a giant light bulb went off in my head. Holy smokes! They are so right. I was sitting here kicking myself for not applying to that job I wanted or thinking if I had done this I could have got that. It’s the past and there is literally nothing you can do about it but move forward. If it was a mistake that you are replaying then use it as a learning experience on what not to do in the future. Every experience no matter good or bad is a learning experience. So stop dwelling and start doing.
- Don’t Let Others Take Your Power: This one has become a new addition to my list. I have – more recently – decided that I would not let people take my “power”. What does that mean? Well, by letting others influence my emotions by upsetting me or making me angry, I was allowing them to control me and the situation. I would often get upset about things I could not control. Once I realized, there are certain things I cannot control and that certain people will never change, I saw that I had to take a different approach to those situations. Instead of letting myself get upset, I now focus on what I can do in the future to better those situations or to improve the way things are handled as much as I can.
- Don’t Be Afraid to Speak Up and Take Risks: As outgoing as I am, for the longest time I was afraid to tell people what I wanted or how I felt. Some time back in high school I remembered thinking to myself – randomly – if I don’t tell this person what I am thinking they will never know and the outcome might turn out different from what I would like. Since then, if I am ever afraid to speak up, I think about how if I don’t say anything a situation could go a completely different direction. No one knows what you are thinking except you so in the future, speak up if you want something. Also, it is okay to take risks. Whether the risk is a success or failure that is how we learn.
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